hey guys , whats up ?? arghh . things getting harder here . making friends are not hard . but to keep them is harder . how to keep a good relation with friends while jealousy is the biggest thing that i cant resist . love them to focus to only me , myself and i . no one . means im his or her priority . before any other friends his or her have . but we cant force people to stick to us 24/7 rite ? its impossible . so what i have to do from now is keep busying myself doin things that will make me to get new people as much as possible . so i will not focus on only 1 person but many person . hahaha . i thinks JEALOUSY is my biggest problem . even with my siblings . but the only 1 person that can control my jealousy is my dear Arif Syafiq . he’s the one and only can make me calm , wipe my tears away , make me smile . i just dont know why and how he can do it . every words that come out from his mouth are like air sungai yg sgt mendamaikan . smile on his lips make me adore his smile . oh God . why u create such a nice person like him . seriously , i dont know what happen if he’ll be others girl properties . Dear GOD , please dont ever take him away from me . how far that we apart please let us be together until our last breath . i just love him for what he are . and who is he when we are together . OMG this post make me miss him like hell .
ok . back to the topic .
Now im here in uitm . and im still searching for a very very comforty mate . that will make everything with me . but not so annoying . i hate people that so annoying . i love people that can share everything with me . hear my story , tell me her secret . sleep with me . hug me every time im sad . laugh with my silly jokes . ok now i miss my besties !!! Alif Haidar . where the hell are you . i miss you ok !! even we are far apart and u already have your soulmate (insyaallah) there’s always have a space for me in your heart rite . you are so special stokin . u know what i really miss our time together . if im not quit the college for sure u will never have her rite ?? yes , that is what u hv told me . hahaha . its not a love feelings but its like a bond . really tight . that make us really close rite brother ??even at first i thought that u like me . hahaha . i dont really comfort with u at first . do u remember that ? all the moments . arghh . i need your twin here in uitm . shitttt !!! a brother to control and advice in very soft way . with your silly n annoying act . i hate u . but i miss u la dear .
ok . im gonna stop here . see u soon 
ok this is what i learn . its proved . mmg betul pun . kalu tak ada komunikasi macam mana kau nak tahu ape si dia mahu dan beritahu dia apa yang kamu mahu .
ta kisah la apa jenis relationship pon . kawan , partner , lover , etc .
macam aku ni . clearly my status is SINGLE but i’ve crushed with my close friend . So , for now there’s no one in my heart accept for him .
Fyi , aku sangat happy dengan dia . Aku gelak , menangis , merajuk , marah , benci , etc . Semua dengan dia . Bila bersama dia , aku rasa sangat dihargai . Thats why aku sangat sayang kepada dia . Ayat skema !! Dia sangat gentleman , sweet , pemurah , baik hati , pandai ambil hati semua orang . Thats him . Even first time my mum saw him pon , my mum dah berkenan . weeewwiitt ~~ i like 
And the best part is he like me the way i like him . Dia pun sgt seronok bila dgn aku . But we are not a couple . We are friends . Super duper close one . If orang-orang tanya aku suka kenalkan di as my boyfriend Gatalkan aku ni ? Just kawan-kawan rapat je yang faham kami .
And aku suka bergurau ajak dia kahwin . hehehe . Aku suka tgk dia malu-malu . And he got misunderstanding there . Aku ta pernah terangkan pada dia apa yang aku nak dari dia . And yesterday i make him clear with what i reallyy wanted from us . And after its clear , he back to normal !
That’s what i learned . A relationship need a COMMUNICATION
Kehadiran kau dalam hidup aku , buat aku rase amat dihargai . Terima kasih banyak . Tak terbalas budi kau . Setiap kali kita bersama , kita create new memory bersama . Pelbagai peristiwa , kenangan indah antara kita kan ? Yang pasti aku takkan lupa sampai bial-bila pon . Kau macam mana ?
Tapi aku mengerti kemahuan kau . Kau mahu membina hidup yang cukup kukuh untuk masa depan . Aku tak menghalang , malahan doa ku mengiringi perjuanganmu teman . Doaku kau kecapi segala yang dihajati , berjaya didunia dan akhirat .
Mungkin aku nampak selfish , bila aku kata aku mahu kau sentiasa ada bersamaku . Tapi aku rasa bagai tidak sempurna tanpa hadir kau dalam kehidupan sehari-hari . Itulah aku , tidak sempurna . Aku mengerti aku bukan apa yang kau cari . Tapi aku adalah apa yang kau ketemu . Tidak selalu kita ketemu apa yang dicari . Tetapi syukuri segala yang kita ada , kau pasti bahagia .
Aku sayangkan relationship ini . Ia indah tapi cukup mengelirukan . Tapi aku lebih sayangkan kau . Aku tak pentingkan relationship ini , aku lebih pentingkan kau . Aku harap kau lebih bahagia dengan pengunduran diriku dari kamus seharian hidupmu .
Simpan kenangan indah yang kita create bersama dalam-dalam . Simpan ia jauh didasar hati kau . Hilangkan dari pandangan kau . Aku bukan yang terbaik . Tapi aku dah cuba jadi lebih baik . Ini sahaja yang aku mampu . Setakat ini sahaja . Aku SAYANG Kau !!
